It is a little known fact that as a child I abhored Coldplay’s music. I was a young girl with a ridiculously active brain; I over-thought everything to the point of exhaustion (and beyond), and their music left me confounded. Was it meant to be happy or sad? It sounded so drab, so grey. It sometimes made me feel like dying inside. It reminded me of rainy days.
The summer between grade nine and grade ten was difficult for me. In the midst of growing up, I was tormented continuously by questions that I couldn’t answer and thoughts that didn’t seem mine at all. I was earnestly searching for God, searching for myself and searching for a place that was my own. It was that summer that Coldplay released Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends. I remember hearing of its rave reviews and feeling oddly curious, so I bought it, and I listened to it, and I fell in love.
Never in my life had melodies felt so sweeping, so uplifting, so joyous. While I can’t say the music saved me that summer, I can certainly say that it provided a beautiful soundtrack.
The year that followed just happened to be the year I found everything I had been searching for; God, my niche, myself. During the highs and lows Coldplay was the perfect accompaniment. I danced to them, I saw them live, I cried to them. They meant so much to me.
Now, in a new season of searching for a new niche and to find myself in amidst these mountains and new places, I can’t help but notice that Coldplay’s new CD is in lovely timing. I am more than excited to see what adventures I’ll have this year to this new music, the people I’ll meet, the places I’ll go.
After wrapping up some presents this week, I was cleaning up receipts and stumbled on one from HMV. I read it because I assumed it was from the stuff I’d just finished wrapping, BUT IT WASN’T. It was a receipt for the CD’s I asked for for Christmas. Naturally I was stoked.
Howeva, yesterday morning those CD’s were nowhere to be found.
I don’t want to spend my Christmas munz on duplicates, and even after a few subtle hints my dad isn’t catching on. I don’t want to be all “HEY GUYS GIMME THE CD’S I KNOW YOU GOT ME FOR CHRISTMAS” because that’s greedy.
Going to bed feeling extra safe and cozy tonight, kindof (not really). Watching the news makes me realize how many things in the world need fixing and how truly privileged I am to live the life I live. I know that gets said all the time, but the discrepancy between the lives lived by most of us here in North America compared to most of the world is something my mind will never fully wrap itself around. It doesn’t make any sense at all.
Also, it makes me re-think all the Christmas shopping I did today. I really truly hope that I’ll someday be around to see Christmas being celebrated for what it truly is, and not a mad dash to buy presents for the sake of it.
I keep thinking that if I could somehow be Amish, I’d do it. Maybe.
Time for tea, some bible reading and then shleeps.