I was studying for my upcoming GD theory exam in the kitchen with my floormates (there was a buzzer and Timbits involved) when my friend observed, with an air of surprise, that there is actually a science behind the stuff I do. I lewled a little inside.
Suspecting You Attend a Hipster Church: A Quiz. By- Tamara Out Loud
With the recent rise in popularity of several pastors sporting dark-rimmed glasses and an elusive air of cool, Christians everywhere are asking themselves the weighty doctrinal question, Do I attend a hipster church? Here to offer discernment, a quiz:
1. When asked where you attend church, you respond a) “Normal Church Name” b) “Rented Nightclub Name” c) “It’s an obscure location– you’ve probably never heard of it.”
2. Your church’s parking lot is full of: a) SUVs b) Volkswagens c) fixed-gear bikes.
3. Your congregation is dressed: a) in their Sunday best with sensible shoes b) in jeans and t-shirts with Converse c) in skinny jeans and American Apparel t-shirts with TOMS.
4. Your worship team sings: a) John B. Dykes’ “Holy Holy Holy” b) Sufjan Stevens’ “Holy Holy Holy” c) Sufjan Stevens’ “John Wayne Gacy, Jr.”
5. Your pastor’s sermons include references to: a) George MacDonald b) George Lucas c) George Bernard Shaw.
6. Your church service: a) has always included a traditional liturgy b) has never included a traditional liturgy c) included a traditional liturgy before it was cool.
7. Your children’s ministry is full of: a) no-testament Aidens and Mackenzies b) New Testament Matthews and Annas c) Old Testament Ezekiels and Havilahs.
8. Your young adult group meets at a) Dunkin’ Donuts b) Starbucks c) a locally-owned coffee shop serving fair trade coffee from a Chemex pot.
9. Your church dinners involve: a) spaghetti and meatballs b) spaghetti and meatballs and spaghetti without meatballs c) organic spaghetti and vegan “meat” balls.
10. You read your pastor’s: a) newsletter b) Facebook updates c) tweets.
Bonus Question: What did you think of this quiz? a) You thought it was trying too hard to be relevant at the expense of sound theology b) You thought it was cool c) You were into it, but now you’re over it.
Mostly A’s: You attend a traditional church and don’t know what a hipster is.
Mostly B’s: You attend a hip church and think you know what a hipster is.
Mostly C’s: You attend a hipster church and deny that you’re what a hipster is.